


smoking kills

by juicyjunhui



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Bloodlust, Drabble, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Knifeplay, Knives, M/M, Murder, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Psychopaths In Love, Sexual Content, Violent Sex, Violent Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:00:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23620447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juicyjunhui/pseuds/juicyjunhui
Summary: Seonghwa never felt such a connecting energy with someone like that before. When Yunho gave him the signal, he was happy to give him his steel. Bloodlust is a beautiful thing, isn't it? Maybe smoking alone for the rest of his days worth that moment.
Relationships: Jeong Yunho/Park Seonghwa
Kudos: 15





	smoking kills

**Author's Note:**

> this is obviously very dark, albeit not as graphic as my other work, but please keep this in mind and read the tags!!!
> 
> forgot i had even wrote this, so here u have it as i found it, it's obvs unfinished

It was a lost paradise -- the happiness that used to echo against the walls of the bedroom now still and redundant, a bitter silence replacing it. 

Seonghwa lost his paradise, his everything, but he lost his love in the most beautiful way possible. 

Seonghwa can recall when night came, when shades of dark blue and purple overtook the orange tones of the sky, the large star of the sun exploding into thousands of tiny silver stars which made the perfect background for the moon -- when night came and they used to share cigarettes on the balcony, words barely exchanged. The atmosphere was calmingly deathly, thick but light enough to carry. It was then when he was happiest. It was then he could sit and admire the view of a tall, brown haired beauty, and reflect on his thoughts. 

He can recall the time when these moments on the balcony with countless cigarettes soon became bitter, where he would play with the lit butt of it, biting his lip in anticipation, repressing the urge to stub it on skin. What were once hearty chuckles were replaced with nervous giggles -- not that either were thinking different things anyway. 

Seonghwa couldn’t explain it, really. It was always there. He just never had been retaliated with such  _ matching  _ energy before. It should have brought him inner peace, a way out, but it only did the worse, it pushed him over the edge. 

Seonghwa can remember when he and Yunho would hold hands. Their hands were quite a contrast in size, but the warmth from his lover’s much larger ones was overwhelming and comforting. Maybe things would work out if they tried. The memory of when he would squeeze his boyfriend's hand, maybe too tight, was so disgustingly vivid -- he supposed it was cute. When small presents from nails indented into skin, Yunho used to grin at him, almost knowingly. Maybe, that's when things started to fall. 

Seonghwa now sits on the balcony alone. The sky is no longer a canvas of navy and violet, it no longer holds the pin pricks of light. It holds something much bigger, much more precious and beautiful. It holds his most precious. Seonghwa knows, he knows with a painful heart, that he's smoking enough cigarettes for the both of them now. Small cardboard boxes stack up in the corner of his balcony now, the little  _ smoking kills  _ message eyeing him everytime he goes to his little safe space because, well, smoking does kill. 

4am rolls around -- it's almost time. He had to flee. No amount of nicotine and stargazing could save him now. 

It's seemingly poetic, really. When  _ the  _ day came, when Yunho pleaded for it, Seonghwa was absolutely thrilled. 

Since that time on the balcony, when Seonghwa couldn’t help but let his urges slip through, when Yunho gave him silent permission and those nervous giggles came through, when Seonghwa felt the biggest sense of euphoria. They came to their agreement in the form of raised eyebrows, gasps, shrill moans, and sweet crimson liqueur. 

4am thoughts are just that, aren’t they? Seonghwa puts his lips in a small “o”, sucking in a breath -- his conscious took him to the paradise he now has lost,  _ again _ \-- he remembers the first time steel met flesh, when his poison of choice intoxicated him. It was after work when he was greeted to a pleading Yunho, usually soft, cashmere-like hair was now stuck to his forehead with sweat, and the blonde man just laughed at the pathetic excuse of a human being laying strapped to the bed, begging for him to turn the fucking machine off, that he couldn’t take it anymore, that he wanted  _ that  _ instead. 

That is when something truly snapped. Seonghwa felt the demons in his head start shrieking, infusing into his bloodstream, making his whole being  _ vibrate  _ with this indescribable sensation. He felt his heart disintegrate immediately, before being replaced with an organ more stringent, ghastly and and harrowing. Seeing his Yunho beg for his blade just made him erupt with an almost maniacal laughter. 

Yunho was beautiful like that. 

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter!!!](https://www.twitter.com/gothwooyoung)


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